Third Home Study Update

This has been SO confusing! Gak! This is the third time all the home study material has had to be updated. The first time, all instructions were very clearly laid out. If you can follow instructions, you can do it. It just takes patience, and some list-making skills. The second time was also fairly easy....same as first time, and free to boot. This third time, however, has been kind of a deal. The same updates are required (police reports, child abuse and neglect clearance, fingerprints, financial statement, etc.) and I think I've got that down, at least I should have by now! What's happened this time, though, is that I got thoroughly confused about the payment that was due, and what was required with USCIS (Immigration, Homeland Security) to update our I171-H form. This is the Notice of Approval, that we receive after filing the Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition, Form I-600A.

Luckily, while visiting our social worker at CHI yesterday, I asked "when do I pay the big chunk?" meaning the $830 to update the I171-H. She said, "Oh! You should have sent that in last week when you wrote to USCIS asking for a new fingerprint appointment!" Awesome. I did not do that. Also luckily, I still have 4 whole working days to figure this out! Gak! Our I171-H form expires June 7. I did not start this process soon enough. Note to self if I have to do this again.

I rewrote the letter, stating basically, that I was a dumb ass and didn't include the appropriate fees with the previous letter. The payment is what saves us a space in line, so to speak, with USCIS while they are awaiting our updated home study from CHI, which they can't receive until we get our fingerprints taken again. So, I have to overnight this on Tuesday, since it's a holiday weekend.

What I don't understand, still, is if I have to fill out another I600-A form. So I have to call CHI Tuesday before I can do all the above to clarify. Gak Gak Gak.

So, How's The Adoption Going?

A harmless question. A sincere question. Usually I respond with a half-smile and a shrug and say "Oh, OK. Slow. But OK." Many times this evokes a sort of pitied look on the part of the questioner. I know many people *think* that we are in this process because we long hopelessly for a baby, as if not having a child is in some way robbing us of a full life. I would like to be clear. This is not the case. Please don't feel sorry for us.

I was asked this question by a co-worker yesterday morning, and instead of my usual response or some variation of it, I said, "well, it's the craziest thing I've ever done in my whole life." Not crazy in a bad way. Just completely incredible. Again, this was not intended as a sob story. It simply is what it is. As I retold the history of major events since the beginning of this journey, I realized that I can't answer that seemingly simple, sincere question very quickly anymore. Here are just some of the things that have happened since we signed that initial piece of paper, sometime during the summer of 2006, exclaiming our interest in adopting an orphan from China (not necessarily in chronological order):

My dad died. My mom developed breast cancer, had chemo, radiation and is now cancer-free. Fingers crossed. There was an earthquake in May of 2008 in China's Sichuan Province that killed tens of thousands of children who perished when their shabbily constructed schools crushed them. The U.S. elected Barack Obama POTUS. The 2008 Olympics were held in Beijing. We sold our first house and bought a better one, which we've now lived in for just over three years. I left a good job for a better one. We got a dog. Our adoption agency lost its Hague accreditation because two employees in their Russian Program forged some documents. The agency has regained their accreditation. A desperate mother shipped her adopted Russian child back to Russia. The Qinghai region of China experienced another earthquake in 2010.What have I left out inadvertently?

When we began this process, there were over 900 families ahead of us. Now there are 360. To put this into even more perspective, the 360 is just CHI families. There are 15,000-20,000 dossiers in China from all over the world. Today we visited our adoption agency in St. Louis to update our home study for the third time. Soon we will head back to Kansas City to be fingerprinted again.

So, the adoption? Oh, it's going OK. Slow. But OK.

Little Movement and Updating Forms and Happy Anniversary to Us

A couple of happy items: Brent and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary yesterday over a fine meal at Sycamore in downtown Columbia. Love that place! Also, while there has been little movement as of late (what else is new?) with regard to referrals, we have moved up 48 spaces since I last posted. That is encouraging! There are now 65 LIDs and 360 families in front of us.

We are scheduled for a Home Study update on May 27. Will be making an appointment soon to get our fingerprints retaken, and then we can get an updated I171-H form, which tells us we are approved for a child from China. Again.

Here's a picture of the folder full of forms, documents, records, etc., that will eventually make us parents. :-)